


Flirting Is Not A Competition! Except When It Is.

by ashleybenlove



Series: Ashley's OT6 [5]
Category: DreamWorks Dragons (Cartoon), How to Train Your Dragon (Movies)
Genre: Competition, Flirting, Multi, OT6, Polyamory, Race To The Edge, Shakespearean Sonnets, Sonnet 18, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-09 00:25:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,045
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14705639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ashleybenlove/pseuds/ashleybenlove
Summary: The gang has a penchant for making things into competitions. Including flirting.





	Flirting Is Not A Competition! Except When It Is.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [wikelia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wikelia/gifts).



> I originally posted this on my tumblr in May 2017 for the prompt: "OT6 trying to see who can flirt the best! Cheesy pick up lines galore!" because I asked for polyamorous gang prompts.
> 
> This story takes place during Race to the Edge, at an unknown point after the events of **Edge of Disaster** in season 2.

Hiccup felt that this had to be the weirdest competition they’ve ever had. Why does everything have to be a competition with them? Why can’t they be a normal polyamorous gang? Astrid argued that well, this was Normal for them.

It all started at breakfast one morning.

Hiccup and Toothless had walked into the Clubhouse just after sunrise, their overnight patrol shift having just ended.

“Good morning,” Fishlegs said.

“Morning,” Hiccup said, sleepily.

He got a chorus of “Good morning” from the group. And Fishlegs, Astrid, Ruff, and Tuff had all gave him a cheek kiss as he made his way to sit down at on a chair at the table.

Snotlout opted to say the weirdest thing ever, “Did you just fly in here on a dragon? Because you’re the handsomest Dragon Rider around.”

“Are you flirting with me, Snotlout?” Hiccup asked. He turned to Astrid, “Did he just try to flirt with me? I’m not just sleepy?”

“Yep, that’s exactly what happened,” Astrid said, a grin on her face. “He literally outdid us all. We only kissed your cheek.”

“That I did, babe,” Snotlout said. He clicked his tongue and pointed at Astrid, before going over to Hiccup, kissing his cheek, and then sitting down at the table.

“Oh gods,” Hiccup whispered. He then spoke a little louder, “Are you trying to make flirting a competition?” Even though he wasn’t directly speaking to Snotlout, Snotlout chose to respond:

“Well, obviously, I’m the best, so no, but… we could.” Snotlout grinned.

And it was at that moment that Hiccup knew that try as he might, he had no chance of stopping his friends and partners from turning flirting into a competition. So, why not let them? It was fun. And truth be told, Snotlout’s pickup line was cute.

“You’re on,” Astrid said to Snotlout.

“I’m in, my darlings,” Fishlegs replied. He winked at them. He was definitely flirting with all of them. He then paused, “I’ll have to give it some thought though.”

“I’m gonna win at this,” Ruffnut said. She grinned hugely. “Also, Fishlegs that was so cheesy.” She cackled and winked back at him.

“I bet I can be the cheesiest! I’ll get Chicken to help me out,” Tuffnut exclaimed.

 

 

 

After breakfast, as Hiccup lay in his bed, Toothless just feet away, as Hiccup waited for sleep to overtake him, he wondered what kind of flirting shenanigans his partners would get into. And also, what sort of flirting moves he himself should pull on them.

“What do you think about the Hand Thing as a way to flirt?” Hiccup asked aloud.

Toothless snorted. And then he covered his face with his tailfins.

“Some wingman you are,” Hiccup replied.

 

 

 

When Hiccup walked into the Clubhouse around lunchtime, he saw that Astrid was sitting in a chair, and for some reason, or rather, obviously for reasons involving flirting, Ruff was sitting in Astrid’s lap. Astrid had one arm around Ruff’s waist.

“Should I sit in your lap, too, milady?” Hiccup asked. He laughed at the expression on Astrid’s face, which was set in a sort of frown.

“Only if you kiss me first,” Astrid said. She winked at him.

“Ah, Astrid flirted!” Ruff exclaimed. She then kissed Astrid’s cheek. She stayed sitting in Astrid’s lap.

“So, you’re gonna just stay there?” Astrid asked, looking at Ruffnut.

“Yes, I like it here,” Ruffnut replied. She gave Astrid a pat on the cheek. “I’m on a beautiful lady’s lap. And you’re that beautiful lady. Who has strong, shapely arms around me.”

“Laying it on a little thick, Ruff,” Hiccup said.

“You’re just jealous I’m not sitting in your lap!” Ruffnut replied.

Hiccup noticed Astrid’s hand going up and down Ruff’s arm.

“You’re flirting right back, Astrid,” Hiccup said softly.

“Do you blame me?” Astrid asked. “A beautiful woman is in my lap.” She made sure to look directly into Ruff’s eyes when she said this, all the while stroking her arm.

Ruff sighed contentedly.

“I’d say it’s a tie between the both of you,” Hiccup whispered. He might as well have not been in the room, they were both completely focused on each other at the moment.

“We both won,” Astrid said.

“Yup,” Ruff said.

“Give me a kiss,” Astrid murmured.

Ruffnut pressed her lips to Astrid’s for a good long time. Both women shut their eyes for the duration of the kiss.

When they finally pulled away, they both smiled at each other, both took a deep breath, and then Ruffnut stood up from Astrid’s lap.

Astrid looked briefly disappointed to no longer have someone in her lap, but the disappointed look switched to a look of amusement when Ruffnut immediately went over to Hiccup, who was sitting just feet away, minding his own business and sat in his lap. She put an arm around his back and smiled at him.

He yelped in surprise.

“Hello, there,” Ruffnut said. “Is that Inferno in your pants or are you happy to see me?”

Astrid laughed.

“Uh, uh,” Hiccup stuttered.

He was interrupted from actually responding with actual words when Tuffnut, Fishlegs, and Snotlout came into the Clubhouse.

“Are you offering your lap for people to sit in?” Tuffnut asked. “Because that’s a cool idea. Is she telling you what she wants for Snoggletog?”

“Can I sit in your lap, too?” Snotlout asked. He wiggled his eyebrows at Hiccup.

“One person is enough in my lap,” Hiccup said, hoping to discourage having multiple people sitting in his lap. He could hear Tuffnut mutter an “Aw, man!”

“I was flirting with him, you muttonheads!” Ruffnut exclaimed.

“By using the exact same tactic that you used with me,” Astrid said.

Hiccup noticed that Snotlout was rubbing his chin as if in thought. Oh, Thor.

“It worked with you, though!” Ruffnut exclaimed. “They had to go and spoil the vibes I was laying down!”

Ruffnut was still in his lap and he was concerned that she might get further upset at Snotlout and her brother, and so he went with the thought he had considered before he went to sleep.

He placed his hand on Ruffnut’s head. It wasn’t exactly perfect, seeing as how she was in his lap and he was sitting and the Hand Thing was best done while standing directly in front of a dragon.

“Hey, honey, are you a dragon, because The Hand Thing worked on you?” Hiccup asked. He was inwardly facepalming. He knew it was a terrible, cheesy flirty pickup line the moment he said it. He felt so awkward as he said it.

A moment later, Snotlout had let out a shriek and started to laugh uproariously. Tuffnut also erupted into laughter. They were exclaiming “Cheesy!” in delight.

Hiccup removed his hand from Ruff’s head and faltered on where to set his hand, before settling on his own thigh.

“Missed opportunity,” Ruff said softly, only to him. “You should have put your hand on my thigh. I would have loved that.” She winked at him. “In a moment, I’m gonna kiss you, okay?” When Hiccup nodded, she then loudly said, “Hey, muttonheads, shut up!”

She and Hiccup then kissed, which for a very brief moment shut the rest of the group up, before the group hooted and hollered.

He wanted to continue to kiss her but she pulled away and stood up, walking to take a seat in an actual chair, with a smug look on her face.

A moment later, Snotlout approached Hiccup, stood directly in front of him, grinning, and then did the Hand Thing at Hiccup himself. Snotlout’s hand on Hiccup’s forehead. His hand then drifted to Hiccup’s cheek and gave it a gentle pat. Hiccup couldn’t help but lean into the touch but then grabbed Snotlout’s wrist, and then kissed the back of Snotlout’s hand.

Snotlout looked stunned.

“Is that Monstrous Nightmare gel on your hand or is your heart on fire for me?” Hiccup asked. He squinted and then rubbed his finger on Snotlout’s hand, just to be sure. No, thank Thor.

“Haddock recovers!” Tuffnut exclaimed. “Bravo! Encore!”

 

 

 

The reason for Snotlout’s thoughtful look at Ruffnut having used the same flirting tactic became very clear in the days that followed. Because he used the same line on everyone that he had used on Hiccup. He pretty much only changed the adjective. Astrid and Ruffnut heard, “Did you just fly in here on a dragon? Because you’re the most beautiful Dragon Rider around.” While Tuffnut and Fishlegs heard, “Did you just fly in here on a dragon? Because you’re the handsomest Dragon Rider around.”

When Astrid and Fishlegs called him out on it, he exclaimed, “But you’re all handsome and beautiful! It’s true!” He then muttered, “Shut up, Astrid. Shut up, Fishlegs.”

 

 

 

“Did you know you’re the strongest and most beautiful person in my arms right now?” Tuffnut asked.

“We’re literally cuddling, Tuffnut, you kinda don’t need to flirt,” Astrid replied.

She was the little spoon to his big spoon at the moment, it was night time, and it was time to sleep. And he chose this moment to say a line at her.

“But I wanted to get my flirt on,” Tuffnut replied. “Chicken suggested that line. So I was gonna use it.”

“Tuff, I love you, but go to sleep, okay? Just hold me,” Astrid replied. Astrid let out a pleased sigh when Tuffnut pulled her closer.

“Okay,” Tuffnut replied. “But you are very pretty and very strong.”

In the morning, when she woke up, she was lying on her back (and so was Tuffnut), so she moved closer so she was lying up against his body, an arm wrapped around his torso.

“Good morning,” Astrid whispered.

“Morning.”

“Is Valhalla missing a warrior? Because you’re so handsome and an excellent battle partner,” Astrid whispered.

“Morning flirting, Hoff?” Tuffnut replied. “Nice. And we do make quite a team, don’t we?”

Astrid smiled at remembering how they held the Edge against Dagur and Ryker.

“I can’t wait to tell the gang your pickup line,” Tuffnut said. He moved like he was going to get out of bed.

“No,” Astrid said, grabbing onto him. “Later.”

 

 

 

Several days passed by from the beginning of the flirting competition and Fishlegs had yet to pull any sort of major flirting on them. Everyone else had. Fishlegs had certainly been flirted at (Hiccup, in particular, had managed to make him giggle when Hiccup had told him he liked his brain and compared him to Bragi and Baldur while they had been working together on something, for example) by the others, and had flirted back, he hadn’t attempted any lines.

Five of them were relaxing together in the Clubhouse, not doing anything in particular, just enjoying each other’s presence, when Fishlegs came into the Clubhouse, holding a piece of parchment.

“Whatcha got there, Fishface?” Snotlout asked, noticing it first.

“Did someone write to us? Is it for me?!” Tuffnut exclaimed. He tried to grab it from Fishlegs, but Fishlegs kept it away from him, and Astrid and Ruffnut quickly got him to sit down.

Hiccup had a feeling they were going get something interesting from Fishlegs.

“I wrote a poem,” Fishlegs said. “It’s to all of you. May I read it?”

When they gave their various versions of assent to hear said poem, he read his poem:

“Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day?  
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:  
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,  
And summer’s lease hath all too short a date:  
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,  
And often is his gold complexion dimm’d;  
And every fair from fair sometime declines,  
By chance, or nature’s changing course, untrimm’d:  
But thy eternal summer shall not fade,  
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow’st;  
Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade,  
When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st:  
So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,  
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.”

“Oh,” Hiccup whispered.

“Fishlegs wins the flirting competition,” Snotlout said, looking just a little teary eyed.

“Yep,” Astrid, Ruffnut, and Tuffnut all agreed.

A moment later, the five of them got up from where they had been sitting and gave Fishlegs hugs and kisses.

**Author's Note:**

> The poem that Fishlegs’ reads is Sonnet 18 by William Shakespeare.


End file.
